Surrogacy vs. Adoption
Surrogacy and adoption can be for anyone; they can be single or married, same-sex or opposite-sex couples. Most of my surrogate and adoption clients come to me through referrals, either from a doctor or other people who have used my services.
With married opposite-sex couples, they’ve usually had several miscarriages or failures with in-vitro. Sometimes they already know they can’t have children because of a medical reason, like the wife having had cancer. This is when I typically meet the family.
People looking to adopt come to me because they want a child, but they may not be able to afford the expensive assisted reproduction process of surrogacy. Or they want to adopt because they have always had it in their heart to take in a child that’s already here.
Women who become surrogate mothers are not struggling. These are stable women. They are nurses, teachers, and stay-at-home moms with bachelors’ degrees; women who have had a good pregnancy experience and have a secure life. Their number one reason for becoming a surrogate is to help someone else have a child.
These women have always thought about doing it. They feel there is no greater act on earth they could do for another human being, and benevolence is their number one reason. Of course, anybody can use the money, but usually, it’s for things like finishing their master’s degree, putting their own kids in private school, or for a down payment on their first home. It’s not to pay the rent or get a divorce. These reasons differ with adoption, where the money received is for basic living expenses.
Whether adoption or surrogacy, it must be a woman with a big, unselfish heart who carries a child for someone else. In both cases, sacrifices are made. I am amazed to meet such incredible women that have the interest and courage to do this.
There are two options for surrogacy in Florida, traditional and gestational surrogacy.
With traditional surrogacy, the egg of the surrogate is artificially inseminated. Although this option is legally permissible and tremendously less expensive, I do very few of these types of agreements. These are less common because the surrogate can keep the child at the end – biologically, it is her child. After the birth, she has 48 hours to rescind the consent of the surrogacy.
Gestational surrogacy is more popular, where families basically rent a womb. They use their own egg and sperm, or donor egg and sperm, or some combination of the two that does not include the surrogate’s egg.
Before entering surrogacy, it is essential to do the research. First, ask yourself if you can afford it. It is an expensive process. Then, look for an experienced lawyer. Before hiring an attorney, ask, “How many surrogacy cases have you handled?” and “How long have you been practicing this type of law?”
When you find the right fit, let the lawyer advise you on your next steps. Let that person oversee the whole arrangement.